My flesh is true food and my blood is true drink

In the light of the preceding post, many thanks to Huw for linking me to this. The timing was impeccable.

I see here what it is to which I am drawn.

Grant this, O Lord!

People, look east - the time is near!

I can't do it anymore. I can't kneel there week by week, at odds theologically with my church, not knowing whether what is coming towards me is, in fact, the Body and Blood of Christ, or just a bit of bread and the fermented juice of the grape, good and wholesome. I can't kneel there, not wanting to adore it in case it is just bread, but I cannot ignore it, in case it is my Lord and my God.

I do not see that I have to make a smooth transition from one church to another, and consequently, whatever happens in regard to a timescale for being received as a catechumen, I cannot continue regularly worshipping in an Anglican setting - I cannot.

I spoke with a few people at church yesterday and I hope to do the same again next Sunday. I shall perhaps make the 14th of August my final Sunday.

On the day, and for the weeks following, I shall perhaps feel a great sadness, but for now, I feel a great relief, and with time, I am sure that the sorrow shall give way to happiness and joy in what I have found.

Places of pilgrimage

Fr Michael over at the Ely Forum kindly mentioned some holy places in Britain, associated with the lives of the Saints. Does anybody know of any such places in the North-west of England, which are associated with Saints of the pre-schism era, and to which a small pilgrimage of a few people may be made? It would be very good to know, as, at some point, I would like to arrange a trip to such a place, even if there is no permanent shrine.

Many thanks.

Fruits

By their fruits ye shall know them - beware!
And some bishops, I grieve to declare,
have permitted to preach
four pineapples, a peach,
three bananas, two grapes and a pear! - Leetle M

I have been hesitant to post about this for various reasons.

Firstly, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Until fairly recently, I had long been a supporter of the ordination of women to the priesthood and episcopate. I have read around and studied this - it was even my topic of choice for one of my modules in 'A'-level Christian Theology. (Mine was the last year to be able to do Christian Theology before it was abolished and the national curriculum went down the "Religious Studies" route). In all of my study, I found little objection to the ordination of women.

In recent months, however, my own personal study has begun to lead me down a different path, but that isn't totally relevant. The reason that I say this is that I acknowledge an authority greater than my own mind. I refuse to be unthinking about such matters, but at the same time, I refuse to have the arrogance to believe that my tiny little mind can somehow overthrow the Truth that God has revealed to his Church and that the Saints have believed and practised for 2000 years before I came to be. The Church, in accordance with Holy Tradition, teaches that this cannot happen, and I accept this, for to accept the Truth of God, and to live in that Truth, is what it is to be Christian. I can do no other.

The second reason that I have not posted about this sooner is that, as somebody drawing nearer and nearer to leaving Anglicanism behind, I am not sure that this is my fight anymore. Part of me is sad that the church that has nourished my faith for 22 years is taking this path, but then another part of me wonders whether this is of any consequence in light of the same church's laxity about other aspects of the Faith. In my first post on this blog, I expressed my inability to accept the sort of approach to Christianity that embraces and affirms mutually exclusive "truths", and this is what I see in the Church of England - the Real Presence, the Apostolic Succession, the Resurrection - these are all aspects of the Faith which I believe ought to be taken as given, but there are open dissenters in the CofE whose positions are affirmed as equally valid to the understanding of them handed down to us through Tradition. How can this be? In light of Christ's promise to send the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into all Truth, how can the CofE support this heresy? (For that is what it is!)

An all-embracing, false "liberalism" is masquerading as the Christian Faith! That the word Catholic means universal is batted about, with clearly no understanding of the actual meaning of the word. Yes, it means universal, but that is not an indiscriminate universality, in the sense of embracing as truth every whim that somebody has, in the belief that it is Spirit-led. No. Catholicism means just the opposite of that - it means universal as opposed to individualistic. Therefore is the ordination of women really that big a deal in light of everything else? Was the Church of England way beyond redemption before November of 1992?

As somebody who has most of his network somehow based in the Church of England, who has known nothing but Anglicanism as his own, it is extremely painful for me to answer yes to my question above, but in honesty, it is all that I can do.

It is only through reading Richard's recent post that I was moved to say something here, for I was very moved by what is clearly a very difficult time for him and others in a similar position. I can but pray, and I ask you to do the same.

The Ely Forum

We have seen the true light, we have received the Heavenly Spirit, we have found the True Faith, and we worship the Undivided Trinity; for the Trinity has saved us.

Fr Michael, of the St Petroc Monastery, linked me to this site this morning. in the light of the collapse of the York Forum, this has been set up, but with a slightly different slant - specifically Orthodox.

All discussion there has been well mannered and in good cheer thus far. It would be good to see the membership grow.

London terrorist attacks

Lord, have mercy!

My feelings are a mix of anger, fear, upset, and I don't know what else.

What's wrong with these people? May God have mercy on them because I'm having a lot of difficulty right now.

May those who have been hurt find healing and comfort and may the souls of the departed, through the mercy of God + rest in peace.

O God, who art the author of peace and lover of concord, in knowledge of whom standeth our eternal life, whose service is perfect freedom; defend us thy humble servants in all assaults of our enemies, that we, surely trusting in thy defence, may not fear the power of any adversaries, through the might of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

29th June

Thou art a priest for ever of the order of Melchisedech

Here is a photograph from last Wednesday. It was the feast of Ss Peter and Paul in the CofE Kalendar, and was celebrated with a High Mass. It also happened to be the 25th anniversary of Ordination of a good friend of mine to the Sacred Priesthood.

I was the liturgical subdeacon, and am pictured to the Celebrant's left. (The beard was experimental and has since been removed). The chap in the cope is my parish priest, and the chap on the far right in the photograph was the clerk, and is a friend of mine who was visiting from S. Mary-the-Virgin, Primrose Hill, Percy Dearmer's establishment.

It was a wonderful and joyous Mass, with a devotion to Our Ladye as well, incorporating one of the hymns that I posted here some weeks back.

The fruit of the vine flowed freely afterwards as well, and a good time was had by all.

More "Michael" time

I love my church. I went through a really difficult time last year and, after three months of not going anywhere after leaving my last church, and on some Sundays even subjecting myself to that great bastion of liturgical excellence that is Manchester Cathedral (HA!), I settled at my current church. They have been warm, loving, welcoming and open to having me and my oddities there.

The church is the higher side of middle, but only just, but they are open to smoke on Principal Feasts, prayers to the Saints and for the departed, pricket stands and the use of icons. These have been recently introduced through the efforts of the new rector, one of the assitant priests and me, and it works well.

However, I find my journey towards Orthodoxy hindered by my responsibilities there, in that the most recent trips to my Orthodox church have had to be cancelled because of things going on at my Anglican church. My Orthodox priest has, perhaps wisely, informed me not to go burning any bridges yet, but it's so frustrating. I don't want to fall into the trap of being too academic about this journey by doing nothing but reading and discussing theology - I want to worship and engage in conversation and shared food and drink with other Orthodox Christians, and see the Faith lived. I feel deprived of that.

I have now decided that, so as to get my regular dose of Orthodoxy and not to grow to resent my Anglican church, I shall allow myself at least one Sunday a month where I will have no responsibilities at my Anglican church, and be free to travel.

This seems like the best way forward for now, although I know that my regular absence will raise questions, as I am the sacristan, only regular server and a chorister, as well as being on the PCC.

Does this sound sensible or am I moving too fast?

NUS and abortion

The National Union of Students has decided to launch a "Pro-Choice and Proud of it" campaign.

The NUS, for those who are unfamiliar with it, is an advocacy group of which most of the college and university students in Great Britain are members. It campaigns for better policies and benefits for students, and members receive discounts on all manner of services and leisure activities. I imagine that many of the members join mainly for the discount in stores and on cinema tickets and the like.

Now, this organisation has alienated many of its members by launching a campaign that promotes, among others, abortion as a valid and acceptable option to young women who find themselves in a situation where they are unready for a pregnancy.

I know of at least one member who has resigned his position on the local body and handed in his membership card in protest.

What on earth does a group like the NUS have to do with such an issue?

I find this approach to be underhanded, deceitful and unethical.

The NUS has its purposes and people have joined because they would like to benefit from them, but now the group has come to represent something that its members did not subscribe to at the time of joining. I hope that, unlike my friend, many of those opposed will stay and make it known that this sort of behaviour is not acceptable.

ROCOR & the MP

Here are the latest joint documents. I'm glad to see that progress is being made, and I pray for more.

S. Michael & All Saints, Edinburgh

Who is like the Lord?

Here is a Mystery Worshipper report that I submitted a few weeks back. It is the second that I have done, the first being about three years ago, back when I was a wishy-washy liberal. ;-)

Ian commented favourably on it in a comment in my birthday post (immediately preceding this one), and asked for clarification of British Catholicism.

I won't give a detailed history here, partly because that isn't the aim of my blog and also I am not qualified, but this is the basic story.

Before the unpleasantness of the 16th century, the western rite had many local variants - all very clearly having the same origins, but with local elements that developed for various reasons. The local Uses, as they came to be known, were often diocesan, originating at the cathedral, and followed to a lesser degree in churches and chapels in each diocese. Some examples of British Uses are those of Exeter, York, Bangor, Hereford, and most well-known, Sarum (Salisbury). Westminster Abbey also had its own use, and the Westminster Missal was recently reprinted by the Henry Bradshaw Society. The Sarum Rite, in one form or another, eventually spread to most of Wales, the English south, Scotland and Ireland, and it is this that formed the basis for the Prayer Book of 1549.

Along with differences in the texts of the Mass were differences in the manner of observing certain days, and the ceremonial as well. For example, on Palm Sunday, whereas a palmesel (wooden figure of Christ on a donkey, on castors) was carted around in northern Europe, in the Sarum rite, the Blessed Sacrament was carried in procession instead. This, to me, makes infinitely more sense.

Genuflexion, for example, never formed a part of the Catholicism of the British Isles. Somebody from the pre-reformation period walking into an Anglo-Catholic parish today would perhaps wonder what on earth these people, bobbing up and down on one knee, were doing. A profound bow (from the waist) was the form of reverence given to the Most Blessed Sacrament.

Also, the surplice was full because of the colder British climate, so that the furs could be worn beneath it. Only on the continent did this take the form of a much closer-fitting garment, now known as the cotta. Both are regional variants of the same garment.

Two lights were used on the altar and no more. Although there would have been four - one on each riddel post, and two standards on the pavement, there were only ever two on the altar itself, and not on a shelf (or gradine) behind it.

The processional order was Clerk (carrying cross), then taperers carrying their lights, then thurifer, and then the Sacred ministers, for it was the priest who was seen as the icon of Christ by virtue of his ordination, and so the way was lit and censed for him. On the continent, it was the Cross that was seen as the icon of Christ, and so the thurifer walked before the Cross to cense the way for it, and the lights were carried on either side of the Cross.

The Blessed Sacrament was reserved in a hanging pyx, suspended above the high altar, and not in a bird ca..., er... tabernacle on the altar.

When Queen Mary Tudor restored Catholicism to England, it would have been the Sarum rite that was used. In the late 16th century, the Roman Catholic Church did away with most of these regional variations in the Council of Trent as a reaction against the protestant reformation, and standardised everything in the form of the Tridentine Mass - a rite which did not develop naturally, but was imposed by council. The Church of England had already become established in the Prayer Book by this point, and as this had the rite of Sarum as its basis, it would make sense that Sarum ceremonial be used with it. This is the tradition that Blessed Percy Dearmer followed in defiance of the culture of many Anglo-Catholics and high churchmen of his day of rejecting anything not Roman as protestant.

There was, at the time, the idea that in order to be Catholic, it was necessary to follow the continental traditions, and so things like two lights on the altar, bowing to the Sacrament and not genuflecting, the use of the surplice, and other things that had been part of the Catholic tradition of Britain for centuries, were condemned as protestant by those who favoured more continental practices. This, of course, is total nonsense, but the fruits of such ideas are seen in many Anglo-Catholic churches today, where one could easily be forgiven for thinking that one were in Italy or Spain.

At my own church, we tend to be more Sarum then Roman, although we're the higher side of middle. S. Mary-the-Virgin, Primrose Hill is rather Sarum, which, I suppose, is Dr Dearmer's legacy. Holy Innocents' Fallowfield, in Manchester is also higher side of middle, and is more Sarum, although very low-key. There are a few parishes like that, and small traditions have lived on and jump out where you may least expect them.

The Sarum rite is also the rite used by the western rite Orthodox in ROCOR, and there is a link to the version of it that they use on the St Petroc Monastery website.

I apologise for the not-particularly-objective wording, but I really do feel strongly about this for, as I said in the report, this rejection of our own heritage is unhealthy, and seems to imply that the religion of our ancestors was inferior. I cannot accept this.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Well, no need to cry, and no party either, but I turn 22 today, and just felt like saying so.

Now, where's the gin?

(walks off, muttering to self).

Saint Dunstan's Plainsong Psalter

O sing unto the Lord a new song; let the congregation of saints praise him. Let Israel rejoice in him that made him, and let the children of Sion be joyful in their King. - Psalm 149: 1&2

This arrived in the post on Wednesday - a birthday present from a very good friend to whom I had mentioned a desire to have this in passing some weeks earlier.

It is an absolutely wonderful asset, which now enables me to sing the Office properly, and offers some translations to the Marian antiphons which are really easy on the ear. I enjoy metrical paraphrases to some degree, but a translation that fits the plainsong is far preferable.

I also love the fact that the Chapters and Nunc Dimittis antiphon from Compline have been provided. I feel somehow more complete now that I have this, and I am very grateful for it. It even has psalm 151!

I may even persuade my parish priest to use plainsong for Evensong one evening, as I have the organ accompaniment to the Sarum tones (courtesy of The St. Mary's Press, Wantage).

There are one or two things that stand out as a little odd, though. Firstly, in the introduction, we are told that 'These days, the pious will search far and wide' for The Plainsong Psalter and The Sarum Psalter of G H Palmer as though they are rare books. While it is true that the former has been out of print since 1960, the latter is, in fact, still in print. I bought a new copy from the sisters at Wantage last summer.

I can understand some of the collects and versicles and responses having been altered to refer to the state and the president instead of the Queen, as it is an American publication, but was the following really necessary?

From Evensong:

V/ Give peace in our time, O Lord.
R/ Because there is none other that fighteth for us, but only thou, O God.

has been changed to:

V/ Give peace in our time, O Lord.
R/ For it is thou Lord only that makest us dwell in safety.

I don't understand the reason for this change to one of the most emotive responses in this particular office.

That's the only thing that really bugs me, but as I prefer Vespers anyway, it won't be a problem. All in all, it's a fantastic publication, and I recommend it to anybody who is serious about singing the Office.

Felicity

The earth brought forth vegetation: plants yielding seed of every kind, and trees of every kind bearing fruit with the seed in it. And God saw that it was good. - Genesis 1:12

Meet Felicity.

I have never owned a plant before. I don't even know what type of plant she is, but she's very pretty. I purchased her on Thursday from a vendor who was visiting my place of work to sell his wares. I forgot to water her until Friday night when I noticed that she was looking a little weary, but she seems to be revived now. It may seem a little sad, but I'm really pleased, and she looks really at home on top of my bookcase.

Felicity - my first plant.

Apocalypse

No, nothing quite as biblical as that, I'm afraid.

Has anybody seen the new film?

I've been told by one friend, an avid fan, that it is utter rubbish (not the word that he used) and by another good friend, also an avid fan, that it is fantastic.

I would rather like to see it, but would also prefer not to spend £4.50 for the privilege of wasting 2 hours of my life that I will never get back.

Do let me know what your thoughts are, as I plan to see it on Wednesday. Many thanks.